whoo, finally getting round to updating this journal! so, im back from japan (obviously) which was the most awesome of awesome things ever - it was so worth all the hype, i had a total blast with my wonderous friend alice! ^^ now i want to go back again! im possibly applying for the JET programme - just need to get my ass in gear and decide if im too much of a coward to go ahead with it. im pretty sure that as amazing as living and working out there for a year would be it'd also have some pretty impressive lows. that happened during my time working and living in germany, and that was only for 4 months and i was staying with a friends family, so im pretty sure that to go with a amazing life changing experience type things i'd also have to be prepared for some pretty heavy loneliness and depression out there if i go ahead with it... so im pondering. going to have to decide soon! also applying for my teacher training now - ive decided to go ahead with it. i figure that just having the fears i have about the whole thing is a good start - if i didn't care about being a good teacher i wouldn't be worried about whether or not i was a good teacher, so thats as good a start as anything!
i'm job searching right now - did you guys know we're in a recession right now? crazy huh? i CANNOT find a job thats willing to take me for the life of me, it sucks... although i did actually get rejected twice in the past week (once by phone, once by email), which going by the utter ignoring of my existence i've had up til now suggests things are looking up! i hate how people whose vacancies you apply to usually don't even acknowledge you exist - its utterly depressing. as such, im abnormally happy having been rejected!
new art soon i hopes.... ^^
*Daisy*

Ah, i'm finally off to Japan! yaaaay! I'm leaving with the awesomeness that is [link] at 6am tomorrow (oh god, oh god, no-one should ever have to see that time of morning, but i can take it for Japan's sake). I cannot tell you how much i need this trip! I mean, even ignoring the many many years i've spent wishing i could go, it's just going to be sooo nifty! Plus, i recently attended a funeral, and its all got on top of me a little bit. Goodbye's are always sad, arent they? Ahh well, such is life. Doesn't really change things much in the end, i've just been a bit... well, depressed, really. It's always harder when it's someone you actually really care about, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles... what a wierd saying! Would've liked a cookie at the funeral actually - they had a buffet, which i considered the height of irony, because Ron hated buffets with a passion. He refused to accept them, and insisted on the general necessity and basic human right that was a proper meal, every meal time. None of those silly buffet things, that only give you scraps of things and never but NEVER have enough cake!
Ah, random detour.
This trip is going to be AWESOME!!!! I shall return with stories, photos, and hopefully new art! Here's to hoping, eh? ^^
*Daisy*

Wow.... it sure has been a while since i updated my journal, huh? over 4 months!! well, quite a lot has happened in those four months, in my defence: I had my birthday (22 yrs and counting... i have accomplished worryingly little...), took my final year exams and graduated university with a 2:1 in Psychology, and have bought tickets to go to Japan for a 2 week holiday with a years teaching over there in mind for next year! well, that sounds like less than it felt... hehe! i've been mostly worrying about my future, or lack thereof - i really don't know what i want to do, and feel kinda like my parents are more worried about my future than i am! ah well! ^^ i think more people feel a similar lack of ambition to my own than seem to admit it, but who knows, eh? well, its not really lack of ambition, its just... i feel this inescapable pressure to figure out and begin doing WHAT I'LL BE DOING FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, RIGHT NOW!! and really haven't found anything that appeals to me crazy amounts thus far. the only thing i really do with a passion is my art, and dream of going to Japan. now the former is all well and good but hardly career material - i know better than anyone that i'm way to limited in what i do to actually make a decent living out of it, and thats fine. and Japan, well, i'm going there (finally!!!!! ), and hopefully will go again for a while after this little taster trip, but thats like saying i really love chocolate - its great, but not exactly the kind of thing you can do for a living. geh. i'm probably going to train to be a teacher, which i know i will enjoy, but im all too aware its really for lack of a better alternative. which is really a little sad in the end!
so, only one thing to do: leave the country and draw even more! WOO!!!
*Daisy*

I'M GOING TO JAPAN!! DAMN STRAIGHT, I AM FINALLY FINALLY GOING TO JAPAN! WOO!
right, now that we've got that over and done with....
so yeah, im going to japan! i've got a degree to finish off first (oh god, my dissertation is killing me, and ive got an exam next week too...), but after thats done it's me off to japan! my wonderous wonderous friend alice ([link]) is going to go with me if all things go to plan - we'll do the fun holiday thing sometime in august hopefully! that is also part of a larger cunning plan of mine to go there for a good long period of time and work out there... but more on that story later!
on a side note, a friend of mine has asked me to maybe design a tattoo for him. i'm kind of honoured, but if i think about it too much also a bit worried... god, poor guy, what if i can't come up with something he likes? or worse, what if we figure out a design, but then once he gets it done he hates it?! gah, the pressure!! so many ways this can go wrong... and i really like this guy! i can't ruin his first tattoo!! i've been working on trying to figure out a tattoo for myself for years now (my hand tends to have a different design every day these days...), but im cursed with an insanely indecisive nature... well, lets hope i can come up with something. the best plan really is to just draw on him for a while, though the downside is if we come up with a design he likes, id then have to transfer it onto paper so it can be copied, which is always more of a challenge than you'd think...

Ah, i've been rewatching a lot of my old x files episodes... its funny, i forget how much i love this show for a few months or so, but i always end up thinking 'ooh, i'd love to see this episode again' and rediscover it. i've just watched some of 'Tithomus', and have moved on to 'D.P.O', which has left me with a real desire to listen to the Vandals. how odd.
i love how you can tell which season you're watching based on scully's hair cut! ^^
Just thought i'd say a belatedly Happy New Year to everyone out there - hope this year treats you all even better than last year did. i'm in my final year of university and completely unsure of what i want to do next (though i have enough to worry about in the present, so i'll deal with the future when it arrives!)..... ah, remember thinking 'adults seem to know everything'? i'm fast realising that the older you get the more you have to worry about, but the ability to deal with these new things doesn't seem to show its face in time!
but its ok. i have the x files! ^^
*Daisy*
PS. ALICE!!! can't wait to see you - not sure if i'll be around the days you mentioned, but im home this weekend coming, depending where you'll be? let me know! and have no fear, there will always be a spare bed here for you and kosta!